Custom Search

Oscar Fashions 2009

Oscar Fashions 2009For years, as soon as the Academy Awards show started, millions turned off the TV.

After the excitement of the red carpet fashions, the actual show was a blatant bore. Enduring three hours of "I-want-to-thank-fill-in-the-blank" speeches in the hopes of catching a single moment of authentic emotion simply wasn't worth it. Life is short. The Academy Awards show was loooooooong.

One way to bump up those TV audience numbers is to keep the fashions of some stars under wraps, or at least out of the cameras' view finder, until they hit the stage to present. It worked. I, for one, tuned in for the first time in more than a decade and well, I would just like to thank the Academy. The speeches of the presenters to the actors and actresses were intimate and genuinely moving.

Or else a lot more people deserve those little gold statues.

Now, about those fashions . . .

A lot of women like that dirty bad boy look but, come on Mickey Rourke. Even real wrestlers take showers. Wash the hair. Button your shirt. Ditch the pinky ring and reserve the shades for actual sunshine. Other than that, he looked practical attractive.

A paper fan, an accordion and kilt walk into a bar -- and walk out looking a lot like Marisa Tomei's dress by Versace. That gown was completely drunk with pleats.

Two shoulders, like heads, are usually better than one. But not at this year's Oscars. Like First Lady Obama, several actresses, including Kate Winslet, went for single shoulder dresses.

Sarah Jessica Parker lives a Cinderella life and has the froufrou wardrobe to match. Her Oscar dress was too big in some places, not big enough in others. Let's just say her Fairy Godmother apparently granted her two rather obvious wishes.

Start with simple material. Give it a few new twists and turns. Add a beautiful actress and -- voila! -- you have an Oscar worthy script, er, I mean gown. Alicia Keyes, Natalie Portman, Nicole Kidman and several other actresses wore this latest trend from the fashion runways, bolts of fabric manipulated into dresses. Outdoors, Portman's dress looked an icky shade of pink but in the theater, the color appeared more subdued. On the other hand, Freida Pinto's electric blue dress lost its vibrant oomph indoors. Lighting is everything, darling.

Those in the fashion industry are fond of declaratives such as "The trend for statement necklace cannot be ignored." Several actresses favored these "statement necklaces." Some necklaces stated, "I am hideously large, garishly colored and, yet, insanely expensive." Amy Adams is a doll but her necklace looked like a technicolor cartoon from the animated parts of "Enchanted."

Nehru collars are the new neckties.

Neckties are the new bow ties.

Hugh Jackman is the new George Clooney.

Eddie Murphy, Jack Black and Bill Maher need to know that bitterly pointing out that one wasn't nominated for an Oscar is never becoming of a gentleman or a panda. And, if this article isn't nominated for a Pulitzer, I'm going to stomp my Prada-shod foot!

Was that really the same woman who once wore a vial of blood on a chain around her neck, smooched her brother on the red carpet, and gave millions of television viewers the heebie-jeebies sitting next to Brad Pitt? Was Angelina Joile only acting crazy back then? Or is she only acting normal now? Either way, that girl deserves an Oscar. She is "The Changeling." And those green drop earrings to match her cat-green eyes were elegant.

Animal prints always look better on animals.

Penelope Cruz wore a 60-year-old vintage Balmain gown that has more past lives than Shirley McClain.

Original Source :